Modern Depth Therapy isn’t just the name of my private psychotherapy practice. It’s a living philosophy of the craft of psychotherapy, borne out of personal and professional experience. This way of working has been part lovingly chiseled like a sculpture—as well as conjured out of sheer necessity (plus some punk-rock scrappiness). It grew from a deep need I saw in the world, my own frustrations in training institutions, my work with clients, and many years spent parked in the chair as therapy client myself.

At its core, regret is when we feel that we could’ve done something differently in the past to yield a more desirable present. Regret comes in two basic forms³: regret for actions taken (such as mistakes, less-than-fabulous choices, unseemly kneejerk reactions, hasty decisions, etc.) and regret for inaction (including not taking advantage of opportunities or letting fear hold you back from trying new things).¹

As much as we may wish to simply dispose of regret when it shows up, it can’t be tidily put away—at least not without causing significant disruptions to our emotional ecosystem. Instead, like other challenging emotions, regret humbly requests our acknowledgement, compassion, curiosity, and presence.

The practice of tonglen came to Tibet in the 11th century by way of India. During that period in Tibetan history, a wave of leprosy rolled through the country. Buddhist monks used tonglen as a method of long-distance healing for those who fell ill.² 

The literal meaning of tonglenelegantly describes its mechanism of action: “Tong” translates from Tibetan as “sending out” or “releasing” and “len” translates as “receiving” or “accepting.” With tonglen, pain and challenging feelings are first received on the inhale. Then, compassion, spaciousness, and relief are sent out on the exhale.¹ Although tonglen has roots in Buddhism, it has gained traction as a widely recognized mental health support tool in psychotherapy and other secular arenas.²  Tonglen can be practiced in two ways: informally (e.g., doing a brief version during the middle of an argument) or formally (i.e., taking time on your own to do the full four-stage process).¹

While it sounds like some kind of tasty newfangled foodstuff, a relax snack isn’t something you necessarily eat. Rather, it’s a catchy phrase to describe a mini-break that gives your nervous system a chance to recalibrate. 

In fact, relaxation breaks are so imperative for managing stress, increasing resilience, and supporting mental, cognitive, and physical health, we need to take them several times daily. It’s just as important as the other basics of daily self-maintenance, like staying hydrated and getting adequate sleep.

One thing that most of us share as humans is that we talk to ourselves, starting at a very early age. Sometimes it’s literally out loud. Maybe you vent your frustration in the car while drifting slo-mo in a sea of traffic. Or maybe you whisper a few encouraging words to yourself in the mirror when you need to drum up your self-confidence before a meeting. Often, though, self-talk is an ongoing inner monologue, heard only by you. 

Chances are you’ve already noticed in yourself and others just how powerful self-talk can be, for better or worse. Unsupportive self-talk can contribute to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Further, it can thwart your efforts to move forward in life, according to narcissistic abuse/codependency therapist and author Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT.¹ Just as you can choose to support your body with nourishing food, you can support yourself with nourishing self-talk. 

Narcissism and lack of empathy aren't just interpersonal issues—they're global ones.

Wetiko is a character or archetype described in Algonquin myths as a cannibalistic spirit driven by insatiable hunger. The wetiko archetype has been explored by both contemporary Native American and non-Native writers to understand the psychospiritual root of our current global polycrisis.